The Ultimate Guide to Annoy the Naruto Gang
by Berryz-In-Counting
Summary: *cough*titlesaysall*cough* Rated T for the bizarre ways in this manual. Formerly known as "How to Annoy Them Naruto Characters".... Characters done: Sasuke, Sakura, Kisame, Deidara, Kiba, Orochimaru and Kabuto, Shino, Gaara, Neji, and Itachi.
1. Sasuke

Disclaimer: *takes a deep breathe* I do not freaking own the E.M.O song, "I'm Blue" song, the Scary Maze, and all the Naruto characters mentioned in this fic.

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1.] The Classic: Dye his hair pink, take a picture, and post it on the internet.

2.] Buy a whole lot of roses, give one to each and every fangirl, and send a letter that was from "Sasuke" saying that he loves them eternally. (draw lots of hearts and flowers too)

3.] Videotape the result as he runs away from the rampaging crowd.

4.] Put food dye in the washing machine when it is his turn to wash clothes

5.] Sing in a very HAPPY voice, the "E.M.O" song whenever he comes in the room

6.] Whenever you see him with Sakura, shower them with confetti and sing "Happy Anniversary"

7.] Narrate every single thing he does. **EVERYTHING**

8.] When he broods in the corner, sing "I'm Blue"

9.] In the dead of night, call him and whether he does answer or just leaves it to the answering machine, say in the **most demented** voice ever, " You will wake up and eat tomorrow... HEEHEEHORFHORFHORFHORF...HEE".

10.] Send him a very crappily drawn picture of himself holding hands,**smiling** with his teammates with a rainbow in the background and Kakashi probably sliding down on it.

11.] Sign him up for a one-year (or two-year) subscription of Limited Too's daily magazine. [I personally hate that store..]

12.] Tell everyone in Konoha that he has the hots for both Sakura and Ino.

13.] Watch him get pulled and argued over by Ino and Sakura.

14.] … For best results, treat Ino and Sakura to coffee and sweets BEFORE they find out and run over to Sasuke's.

15.] If they ever have computers there, sneak in Sasuke's room, switch the homepage into a yaoi website, and if possible, put a password on it so he can't change it.

16.] Watch him throw it out. Keep it for awhile. Then, on his birthday, give the beaten computer to him.

17.] To torture him even more, before you give it to him, make the computer automatically turn on at night and have an evil and scary screensaver that pops up every six seconds. (Think of the Scary Maze on this one)

18.] Paint the bottom of his shoes in any noticeable color.

19.] Watch as he runs out of the house, leaving (insert color here) footprints. If you want, put up a sign saying "Where's Emo Elmo?" pointing his footprints. (I could seriously picture little kids asking if he is **THE** Emo Elmo.)

20.] Make Opposite Day official in Konoha by signing it up and telling everyone but Sasuke so whenever he says something bad to Sakura, Sakura will think that he really loves her based on how really mean he is.

21.] ... Can you IMAGINE how he will react when almost everyone will act like him? (happy,energetic people + opposite day= Sasuke)

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I was extremely bored and I had the sudden urge to write this "How to Annoy Sasuke". Sure, this could be like one out of millions of fics but this kid seriously needs to stop revenging in people. I mean would he also want revenge on a salesman if he forgot a cent in his change?


	2. Sakura

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, any of the songs mentioned, Gieco, and Little Mermaid. But I do own my insanity.

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1.] On her birthday, send her a picture of a platypus from "Sasuke", with a picture caption saying "This is what I think of you.. ***HEARTS***"

2.] Dye her hair and clothes orange and say one day that she and Naruto do match _perfectly_.

3.] Tell her that she and Sasuke really contrast and will never get together (orange and blue are _opposites_ of each other)

4.] Every time she tries to talk Sasuke into going out with her, play a recording of a fat lady screaming.

5.] Steal her comb and replace it with a mini-rake or a fork (haha, Little Mermaid reference there)

6.] Replace her beauty face mask with three-day old yogurt _mixed_ in with bleach.

7.] Tell her how much of a resemblance she is to a pelican

8.] Call her at **2 PM** if she wants to sign up for **Gieco**.

9.] Put several Post-It notes on her door each saying "I will come tonight for my order of a pink wig".

10.] Leave a message on his phone with things like…"OMG SAKURA-CHAN! I LOVE YOU!!!", make sure it sounds like an alien, an old man, and …yeah, you get the idea

11.] Replace her shoes with one of those baby shoes that squeak or quack with every step. (step *quack* step *quack*)

12.] Freaking throw a very hyper and deranged Naruto at her. (you know, the **kind** of Naruto that goes in that **kind of crazy** when he just found out the Ichiraku Ramen is going to get destroyed and blown into little noodle pieces.)

13.] Each time Lee talks to her and she pushes him away, play a part in the "My Heart Will Go On" that goes like "Near, Far, wherever you are.."

14.] Videotape her each time she asks Sasuke to go out with her (who always shuns her), make a parody out of it, and post it on Youtube.

15.] Ask her why she likes Sasuke. After she's finished, wait about thirty more seconds and then say, "Is that your final answer??" in a jeopardy-ish kind of voice.

16.] For each time she orders food from a **very crowded** restaurant and **just about** when the clerk asks for her food, loudly play the "Peanut Butter Jelly Time" song.

17.] While she is taking an oh-so relaxing shower after a very industrious and very hard day of training, flush the toilet over, over, over, and over again.

18.] Lock 15 mutated pigs in her bathroom (and add rampaging iguanas too!!!).

19.] Record the reaction when she opens the door.

20.] Dress up as a **HUGE** star and show up on her door with a voice projector and shout "DANGIT *BLEEP*, STOP THE WISHING ABOUT GETTING TOGETHER AND _MARRYING_ UCHIHA!! IT'S **WAY** ABOVE MY SKILL TO DO THAT!!!!"

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Once again, I made another one of my _plans_. You know, you can do this in real life. Just don't hold me responsible if you got caught though. You were the one who _clicked _the darn link _to_ this page. You were the one who _proceeded_ to read every single thing in this thing until you are reading this bottom part as we speak..... Yeah, go crazy. And by the way, I need another character to write about. Don't suggest Hinata though *hugs her*, she's too kind for this. DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW AND DROP SUGGESTIONS OF WHICH CHARACTER I'M GOING TO ANNOY NEXT!


	3. Kiba

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Kiba, the Meow Mix Cat Clock theme song, all of the dog food brands mentioned, the Puppy Bowl _(where the heck am I going to get all those puppies??)_, The "Who Let The Dog's Out?" song, and The Dog.

1.] Ask how old he really is in dog years. (One human year is 7 dog years, so do the math)

2.] While holding a **leash**, ask him to walk with you.

3.] If he ever scratches himself, proceed to spray him with bug spray. _(be sure Shino isn't around. That's for another chapter.)_

4.] Ask him if he's related to a ..... **poodle.**

5.] Leave him a message and sing the **Meow Mix Cat Clock** theme to him. (meow meow meow). For bonus points, sing it **every time** you meet.

6.] Remind him constantly that he lost to a certain energetic ninja that wears orange.

7.] The next time you spar with him, transform a kunai into a stick, and yell "**FETCH**!"

8.] If he really does get it, say in a very disappointed tone that he got the wrong stick and proceed to hit him with a rolled up newspaper.

9.] On Friday the Thirteenth, dress as a black cat, walk up to him, slap him and yell "**THAT'S SEVEN YEARS, FOO!**". And walk away.. err.. make that run away. VERY quickly.

10.] get a picture of a female dog (not the curse word) and show it to him and exclaim in a _sly_ tone, "she looks good huh?"

11.] for his birthday, give him a gigantic sac of Dog Chow, Pedigree, Pet Pride, or other kinds of dog food.

12.] Sign him up for the National Dog Show.

13.] tell him he should be in a T.V. show …….. **THE PUPPY BOWL IN ANIMAL PLANET**!!!!!

14.] decorate his room with lots of mirrors. If he asks why, say that it was to insure that it is one possible measure for self-awareness. (dogs take these tests sometimes)

15.] Tell him **every single detailed fact** about fleas. _(To the parts of the flea, the diseases it spreads, etc.)_

16.] If you and his team were to ever go on vacation, tell him he can't go because we have to drop him off in a doggy daycare.

17.] when it snows, bring a sled to his house and ask him if he would want to sled with you. If he says yes, force him to be the one to pull the sled with you on it…._dogsled style_.

18.] When he fights, play the song "Who Let The Dogs Out?"

19.] put up posters of fleas in his room and little plastic fleas on the floor when he's not present.

20.] record his reaction as he tries to protect Akamaru and himself.

21.] take a picture of him close up and when he asks why, say it will be a new addition to **The Dog** album.

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Ha, I had a lot of fun for this one. What's funny is that this is **one of my favorite characters**. What's more awesome is this is my _third_ chapter today, so feel special. Thank you for Luna2986 for this suggestion!


	4. Deidara

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, the F.U.N song, Rice Crispies, and Kagura from Fruits Basket. And again, I only own my insanity.

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Let's the start with the classics:

1.] Mistake him for Ino or her twin

2.] Ask him if he's confused with his gender

3.] Replace his clay with play-doh

4.] Dye his hair... [yeah I know *snore*]

Now, this is how **_I_** would annoy him:

1.] Replace his clay with **cookie dough**

2.] If he asks why you did it, say that it must be horrible for his hands to just eat clay and then throw it up the next second.

3.] Tell him if he keeps doing that to his hands, his hands may become bulimic.

4.] Ask if he and his hand can do a duet while dancing

5.] When he and Sasori are arguing over what kind of art is best, play the song from Spongebob "**F.U.N**" [Warning: this might get **Sasori** to turn on you too]

6.] Cosplay as him on crack.

7.] Make him say "un" over and over again until he can't stop (this is reference from a video in Youtube by the way)

8.] During breakfast, ask him if he could give you a bowl of his favorite cereal, Rice Crispies. Put milk in and at the moment it starts snapping and popping, knock it over (make sure it lands on Deidara) and shriek (like a banshee)," THE CEREAL SPEAKS!!! DEIDARA'S CEREAL IS POSSESSED!!!!!" now, run screaming.

9.] Continuing number 8, come back a few moments later and say to Deidara that he's a narcissist because he chose a cereal brand that has one of the mascots that **looks like him**.

10.] Pretend to stalk him. Make sure it is done **very badly**.

11.] Buy a rocket or dynamite with his money. (That will result in a very _happy_ Kakuzu)

11.] Tell him that you finally understood his view of art and just about when he's about to burst into tears of joy, show him the dynamite or rocket that has **all of his clay** attached to it.

12.] Record his reaction when he tries to blow out the fuse on the rocket or dynamite.

13.] Pretend you are in a staring contest with him. After a few second, slap him and say that he's cheating because his other eye is part robot and can't blink.

14.] While Sasori's away because of a mission, borrow some of his puppet parts, rearrange them as letters in Deidara's bedroom when he's asleep and in the end, the fake body parts should make up the words "YOU ARE NEXT". And add some kind of red sauce to make it look like blood.

15.] Videotape his reaction and of him falling off his bed. Show the recording to **Hidan**. That way, he will never live it down.

16.] Ask him if he's going out with Sasori, when he says "No, un (yeah)", pose like a psychologist for a second and then say," Oh I see, so you guys are having a rough relationship, eh?"

17.] Install one of those shower/ sprinkler systems in his room and set it to **3 AM**.

18.] Glomp and hug him very tightly during an important battle and yell, "LIVE DEI-DEI-CHAN! LIVE DAM*IT!" (even though, he isn't hurt.)

19.] *optional and this goes with number 18* oh yeah, if you watch Fruits Basket, then you should know that there is this girl named Kagura that goes berserk when she shows affection. So if you do know her, act like her when you see Deidara getting hurt.

20.] Tell him that you decided to not call him Dei-dei anymore…. But now, you decided to call him…… **DEI-DEI-DEI**!! (it should go with the rhythm of dun-dun-DUN)

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Due to massive requests (*yeah right*), I wrote this first thing in the morning. seriously. What's funny is that this is another fav character of mine. Ha, and some people say they couldn't just bear seeing their beloved character getting tortured silly. Now, REVIEW AND DROP SOME MORE SUGGESTIONS!!!


	5. Kisame

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Kisame, Jaws and its theme song, the Little Mermaid, Spongebob, and Sea World.

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**The classics:**

1.] Ask if he's related to Jaws.

2.] For each time he enters a room, **loudly** hum the Jaws theme song (dun,dun,dun,dun DUN!!!)

**This is how _I_ would roll:**

1.] Each sushi. **INFRONT OF HIM**. **BESIDE HIM**. And oooh! Add some soy sauce and ginger! C(=

2.] Ask him how baby fish are made_ repeatedly_.

3.] Ask him if he knows Ariel, the Little Mermaid… or SPONGEBOB XD

4.] Ask him if he fears Iruka. If he asks why, say that dolphins can totally OWN sharks. (Iruka means Dolphin and also say "own" in chatspeak, making it "**PWN**" )

5.] Following number one, buy the _extreme deluxe package_ of sushi and share them with everyone.

6.] While he's asleep, style his hair into a fin… along with BUNNY EARS!!! (don't blame me here, I'm eating _lots_ of cake at this very moment)

7.] Each time you see him or when he tries to talk, scream bloody murder, run around in circles, and yell "OFF THE BEACH! SHARK ON THE LOOSE! I **REPEAT**, SHARK ON THE LOOSE!!!!"

8.] Tackle him and try to pull one of his teeth. When he asks what you are doing, tell him that you need his teeth for your shark tooth collection and also tell him that you need ten teeth …..of the _**same kind**_.

9.] Take him to a fish market to get some fresh shark fillet. Videotape his reaction when he watches the butcher _freaking_ cut a _**full**_ shark.

10.] While holding a fish skeleton, say to his face, " I found your **wife**, Kisame!" in an _about-to-giggle-girlishly_ kind of voice.

11.] If he acts all stressed out, offer to read him a bedtime story.. "**200 WAYS TO COOK AND PREPARE SHARK**"

12.] If he acts all stressed out, ask him if he's "**blue** around the _gills_"

13.] Use his sword to cut the said shark fillet from number 9 into more little pieces. Fry _tenderly_ and serve _while hot_. :D

14.] Force him to eat some mystery onigiri and if he refuses, threaten to bring out the frying pan.

15.] When he asks you what's in it, yell "YO MAMA AND YO DADDY, YOU HEARD??!" did I forget to mention you have to act all _gangster-like_?

16.] Hold a _neon_ hula hoop in front of his face. When he asks about what you are doing, **frown** disappointedly, bring out a **spiky whip**, and say "You _**forgot**_ the obedience lesson didn't you? **you bast*rd**…" Proceed in whipping him before he runs if you please.

17.] Flood his bathroom and pin a note to the door saying, "You _miss_ your home so.."

18.] Videotape him as he opens the door and gets _flooded away_.

19.] Ask him if that was **how** he escaped Sea World.

20.] **Pretend** to eat him. One day, you **measure** his arms, height, weight, etc. The next day, _sprinkle_ him with seasonings and replace his shampoo with _teriyaki sauce_. On the third day say, "Just one more day my _Teriyaki-styled Fish With Broccoli_.. just one more day.." while petting his head .

21.] Repeatedly **pummel** him with numerous beach balls while saying "COME ON! YOU CAN DO IT! JUST BALANCE ONE BALL FOR **30 SECONDSS**!!" in a cheerleader-ish kind of voice.

22.] Follow him around with a camera and snorkel. When he questions your actions, tell him it's a _documentary_ of how a mutated shark lives (how it eats, how it sleeps, how it goes to the bathroom, and how it…WALKS!!!)

23.] Rip one if his scales off **PAINFULLY** and when he asks why the _hell_ you did that, say it was for genetic research on how the skin turn in a pigment of aquamarine blue and to see if the pigment is related to the fossil-like specimen that lived a million years ago. (In other words, talk all smarty-pants like)

24.] Throw a pokeball at him and when he tells you to stop doing that, exclaim in a gloomy and depressed voice," Does that mean you're not the **flipping awesome** pokemon called the _Sharpedo_?"

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This one is fun. I didn't exactly read or even see the parts of when he was introduced or where he was shown in the scenes so I just guessed on his personality by watching the fan flashes on Youtube. LOL. The reason why was because I was caught up with other anime... DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO KEEP UP WITH **_TWENTY_** KINDS OF ANIME AT THE _SAME_ FREAKING TIME DURING **SCHOOL**?? Ahem, anyway, review and suggest please. I need more victi- I mean _very lucky_ characters for this fic to stay alive. Remember, also review because it isn't that exciting to see a sack full of suggestions (in fact, it's almost like my homework agenda on a monday night.. holy crap), so please, for the love of Kisame over here *pets his now injured and mentally damaged head*, REVIEW!


	6. Neji

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Neji, Jamaica (if i did, i would be considered as a _dictator_, my friend), Nick Jr., its catalog, Princess Bride, the guy who always says "OBJECTION!!!!", Tweety, or **you**.

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1.] Braid his hair when he's asleep… **Jamaican style**

2.] Ask him if he got his shirt from the **_Nick Jr._**'s catalog. (if you kind of think about it, his shirt sort of looks like Diego's vest 0.0)

3.] Put **hot** curry in his green tea that he seems to be always drinking.

4.] Put one freaky eye contact in one of his eyes (only **one** contact)

5.] Watch and take pictures as the villagers' children **run away** from him.

6.] Photoshop the picture to make it look like he's attacking the village… like**Godzilla**!!! OMG! THAT'S AN AWESOME CLASSIC!! …ah, sorry ^^;;

7.] If he asks why you did this, say it was **his** destiny and yours.

8.] Pretend to tell the future to him and say that he will be _attacked_ by oranges on the day he will find his true love and that when he gets married, his **wife** will be the one who _**owns**_ him.

9.] …So whenever he gets near Tenten, repeatedly _**catapult**_ him with oranges.

10.] Pretend to be the guy from Princess Bride (or the lawyer who has that _gravity-defying_ hair) and whenever he says something about destiny, say "INCONCIEVABLE!!" (or "OBJECTION!!!!!!!")

11.] Claim that the Gentle Fist Technique is the _manly_ version of poking.

12.] Force him to be a gypsy for a fair so dress him up. If he doesn't agree, tell Hiashi (Hinata's father) that during the preliminaries for the Chuunin Exam was when Neji harassed Hinata. (his hand got **_wayyy_** too close to the chest! and **THAT**, my friend, is called sexual harassment .)

13.] Pretend to be shocked while looking at a calendar and tell him after a _five-hour_ makeover that the fair is on the harvest moon date.. four years from now. (correct me if I'm wrong)

14.] Give him a _HUGE_ rabid _berserk-ish_ guide dog for Christmas and say on a card on the dog: "I heard about your loss of eyesight so.." (I mean **HUGE** like Akamaru's size in Shippuuden and this is kind of ironic since I mean, how can he _read_ the card if he's blind? so don't review me just to say that cuz _I know_ xD)

15.] Force him in tight spandex… **'nuff said**

16.] if you ever have a chance to serve food to him, spill **anything** hot or anything frigid cold.

17.] For his birthday, give him a freakin big Christmas card that has a picture in the front that compares him to… PEKING DUCK!! (a bunny would be nice too~!)

18.] Tell Gai-sensei that Neji needs the "The Beginning of Youth" speech **thoroughly** _explained_ to him.

19.] Cook up bacon, sausages, and bagels, make a huge string through them, tie them around the Hyuuga branch household like _Christmas lights_.

20.] Make him dress up as **Tweety** and say "C'mon! You gotta show that the branch family is more than a caged bird!!!!"

21.] If he still doesn't wear it, wear the Tweety suit **yourself **(that's right, yourself!), follow him around for the next few days, saying " I TOHT I TAW A LADY MAN! " over and over again in ,like, every four seconds. (if you don't know what i just typed, try sounding it out first and if there are lazy-bum people who're reading this fic, it says " I thought I saw a lady man!")

23.] Get a nearly hatched egg that would hatch in **a day**. Put it under Neji's pillow and watch as he **freaks** out as the chick follows him around.

24.] When he shows up for training with the chick right behind him, say "awww, the chick is such a **momma's** boy~!"

25.] Cosplay as him in an apple suit

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Heh heh.. Apologies for making you people wait so long. Huh.. let me pretend to be Kakashi for a sec... here are my reasons:

1.] sick *cough* 'nuff said *cough...sneeze*

2.] mountains of paperwork and homework- AHHHH!!! IT'S **FALLING** DOWN!!! .

3.] I have to do a painting for my art school/ class (yep. I'm an artist. Shocker eh?)

4.] i forget *pssht* nice reason huh?

5.] had to clean my room and closet (a hunting of skirts i go, i hunting of skirts i go, hi-ho i dare-o i will torture them soo~) ^^

Also, thank you for reviewing *grabs a _petrified_ Neji and blows nose on his hair* I'M SO HAPPYY!!! TT^TT -- Those are tears of joy, dangit! I also thank Dragongirl (I apologize if i don't spell your name right, i can't press "Back") and yes, I am indeed a very annoying person and dam proud! xD Feel free to use these on your friends.. just don't hold charges on me when you get caught though. 0.o and again, more REVIEWS PLEASE!!!


	7. Orochimaru and Kabuto

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, Kabuto, Orochimaru, Barney, Teletubbies, Sesame Street, Pooh Bear, the OPERATION game, eHarmony, the (super awesome) pokemon Kabuto, and the Simpsons.

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**Orochimaru.**

1.] Shave his head… monk style (y'know with a small speck hair in the back).

2.] **Bombard** him with lots of blush and face paint and say," You were a bit pale there so I guessed you needed some color."

3.] When he stretches his neck out, _jump_ over it and say," The jump rope companies are losing their creativity these days… Hope you don't mind" while you "_accidently_" tripped on his neck, choking him.

4.] Call him from **far away** and say with a deep voice," Sir, we will be arresting you for the kidnapping of young infants and children and therefore will be filing you as a **dangerous** predator, a kidnapper, a _**hobo**_, and an insane clown **hell bent** on trying to accomplish immortality." Get the phone away for a second and shout loudly in the background. " Isn't it horrible to have the same ugly face for _eternity_?"

5.] Set mice free in his lab… I'm talking about a LARGE family here.

6.] Have a rattlesnake hide in his bed and put a small card saying," We know you have been wishing for a wife so… from Kabuto and the _family_"

**Kabuto**

1.] Throw a rock **painted** as _poke ball_ and say," I CHOOSE YOU **KABUTO**!"

2.] _Crappily_ draw a drawing of him sliding down a dinosaur _Flintstone-style_ and draw a _second picture_ of him holding hands with Barney, The Teletubbies, Dragon Tails, Sesame Street, and Pooh. Laminate it and send.

3.] While he's in Konoha pretending to be the "nice guy", loudly ask when he's going to kidnap little children. Make sure it is in front of Naruto's gang...or a pack of Anbu.

4.] Sign him up in eHarmony and say," Orochimaru isn't a good choice for you; There are lots of _snake-like_ WOMEN in the world y'know….I _think_"

5.] Ask him to do an "important" operation.. Then give him the **OPERATION** game (the Simpsons edition).

6.] "Enroll" him into rehab as a "_gender-confused_ and **troubled** teen".

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I'm sorry if it isn't as good as the others because I, my good chaps, have temporarily lost my "touch"….and I forgot my password. Yeah, nice excuse huh?

REVIEW&&RECOMMEND!!


	8. Itachi

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto, Itachi, Abarai Renji from Bleach, the Chiapets, Aly&AJ's song "I'm Walking On Sunshine", can-cans, and you.

_**Warning!:**_ Weasel abuse... hopefully not that severe .

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It's _elementary_, my dears:

1.] Be (or at least pretend to be) the most happiest and hyperi-ness **FANGIRL ALIVE** around him. (glomp him and stuff, and hope to _every_ god out there that he doesn't kill you first)

2.] Compare him with a rabid weasel.

3.] Dye his hair blue and say that Kisame and him now match perfectly. And oh, dye his skin too.

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'_Tis is how ya do, foo~!_

4.] While beginning this _**beautiful**_ tor- I mean- entertainment, loudly say in his face," Your _365 days_ of torture has come, Mr. Weasel-face" and run. RUN, DAMIT, RUN!!!! .

5.] Instead of tying it into his usual ponytail, make him tie it in…… **pig-tails**!! And put on a LOT of hairspray and I'm taking about the amount Kakashi coplayers use on their real hair. (I have a somewhat newfound respect for those dudes. It takes a **man** to carry **that** much hairspray. ^^)

6.] Declare that you made the symbol for his partnership with Kisame. The result should be a shark _biting_ a weasel's [fluffy] tail.

7.] … You know those marks that's on his face that somehow looks like wrinkles? Yeah, and do you know Abarai Renji from Bleach and his *_seriously_* wicked tattoed eyebrows? Yeah, continue Itachi's marks to make it look like some pattern… and don't forget the anesthesia too.

8.] Continuing #6, while he's _still _on anesthesia, paint his nails with smilie faces… :D

9.] While on a mission *cough*campingtrip*cough*, catch weasels and roast them in fire with a fan.. in front of him. And say this is the *_beautiful_* meaning of his name. (A/N: … I feel terribly guilty writing about roasting weasels TT^TT I really hope that weasel fanclubs won't hunt me down now cuz, …these are just imaginary weasels. ;D)

10.] Photoshop a picture of Kisame and make him look like a **mermaid**… which means, you have to make it look like he's a _GIRL_ fish. Using chakara, laminate it (so it doesn't get burned the first time it shines the world) and give it to him on his birthday. C:

11.] Call him the SUPER WEASEL!!!!!!! _OMGOMGOMGOMG_-….. sorry spaz moment there. xDD

12.] Following number 10, wake him up at 3 (AM) and with numerous SUPER STRONG chakara walls around you, say " I now promote you from Super Weasel to……… **CAPTAIN BADGER**!!!!". X3

13.] While on a mission, jump on his back, and point to anything and say," Daddy, where do *insert random object here* came from?"

14.] Whenever Itachi comes in, chant, "**U-chi-chi-chi-ha**!". (A/N: You know the chia-pets advertisements? Yeah, the tune is the same only with different words.)

15.] When he wins a battle, catapult him with weasel food pellets to shower him with "_victory_". (make sure to shoot from faraway.. for your **safety**, m'dears)

16.] In any random moment, say," We sometimes all aim to age beautifully, but I think it's too late for you" while poking his eyemarks. Then.. you **run** as if death was behind you… which is.

17.] While walking with him and Kisame, sing "I'm Walking On Sunshine" while doing the cancan.

18.] For breakfast, give him bacon bits that look like weasel pellets and an omelet shaped… like a **PANDA**~~!!

19.] Get a carry-able wall and while carrying it and when he is walking by, "_accidentally_" turn around, hitting the **famous** weasel-man. Say, " Mann, this is why you have to **sleep** to get rid of those **red** eyes, Chi-chi-chan"

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OH-MY-STARS! You guys are the freaking best. Thank you for teh suggestions and comments especially **Miyuki Sohma** over there *_waves spazzily_*, who kindly gave me the longest comment I had ever had so far in this lifetime... I know, that's sad isn't it? xD

So yes, after long weeks, I finally had time to write this thing in one sitting. Done with long-term school work momentarilly, I wrote this and is now planning another one sometime next week when winter break starts (hopefully). And guess what. It is my birthday next week on the freakin' 20th!!!... CHYEAH! WHO DA MAN??!!!.. sorry, just had to write that. And again, reviews and requests are very well appreciated.


	9. Shino

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, Shino, Chinatown, the Jitterbug song, the Matrix, and the Bug's Life movie. AND yes, i do not own you, my friend.

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**The A, B, C's:**

1.] Steal his glasses

2.] Sing the jitterbug song when you're around him

3.] Like in one of the episodes, give him some laughing medication or whatever the heck it was.

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**Advanced Calculus (not the math):**

4.] Plant _flowers_ on his head so his bugs will love him more.

5.] _Hit_ him with a fly swatter and claim there was a bug there.

6.] Give him a haircut and pretend you're cutting a **bush hedge**… THAT would mean bringing out the **ULTRA** scissors~

7.] An alternate for #o6: with normal scissors…. Cut his hair to make it look like a _beehive_.

8.] Following #o7: dab honey on it like there was _no tomorrow_…. THEN RUN!!!!

9.] Ask him to meet with you on a hill with a lot of butterflies. When he gets there,_ push him_ off and say that he has to go fly with his _brethren_ (the butterflies)…. You better have some bug spray on you when you're done with this.

10.] Take him to a trip to Chinatown and force him to order a plate full of fried cricket legs and cooked snails… and make him eat it. (A/N: the snails are not that bad really… I like it with some sauce.)

11.] When you're on a (un-serious) night mission with him, bring and carry one of those bug zappers as a lantern so you can "see" in the dark.

12.] Replay the scene where someone killed the giant millipede in the exams. ( I felt sorry for that bug..)

13.] Say that he's from _Matrix_

14.] Call him the "_**Shino-bee**_". (A/N: man that was so cheesy.. but I couldn't help it..)

15.] Decorate his head like a Christmas tree and circle him while singing badly.

16.] Replace his clothes with tight leather clothes. (it could've been ballerina clothes..)

17.] Sing the itsy bitsy spider song every time, and at the end of each song, slap him.

18.] Make him dinner. Only, the dinner has to be shaped like a bug. Watch as he tries to take apart the meal.

19.] Ask if he's related to the bugs from **Bug's Life**.

20.] In the morning, wake him up by saying," FLY _BUGGIE_ FLY! THE SPIDER'S GONNA EAT YAH OMGG!!!!.... oh wait, you **can't** fly can you".... then shower him with multi-colored glitter.

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As promised, I posted this ! Does Shino fly? cuz I'm not sure...

Uh, sorry for the crappiness cuz I had to some homework while I'm writing this. Hm.... ehm, don't really have anything to say so..... REVIEW and REQUEST!!!!! The next character will be based on the majority of who you guys requested.

oh yeah, anybody here willing to review? as said in some chapter before this (or was i dreaming?), seeing a bucketful of requests isn't exactly a gift... or so I think.. oh, speaking of gifts, it would be a REALLY good time to review cuz' guess what? my bday is like in three days!!! So yes.... REVIEW UNTIL YOUR HEART'S CONTENT(... or MY heart's content.. lol)


	10. Gaara

**_Disclaimer:_** I do not own *takes a deep breath* Naruto, Gaara, Matt from Death Note, Reno from Final Fantasy, the Cuppy Cake song, Burger King, Martha Stewart (lol), the genius rabbit and pancake photo, the world, this website, or YOU. But I do own my insanity/genius mind and my lack of absenses in this site, and of course the computer I am typing on.

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_The usuals:_

1.] Call him emo.

2.] Blame him for stealing Temari's eyeliner.

3.] Act like the pre-shipuuden Sakura when you're around him and instead of obsessing over cockatoo head (you know who he is), obsess over him. Yes, you heard right. HIM.

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**The Lexicon of The Most Annoying:**

4.] Pour oil and water into his gourd and stir _well_.

5.] …Attention to all Final Fantasy (and/or Death Note) fangirls: Imagine him in orange tinted glasses or goggles and markings right underneath his eye. Do you see Reno? (And possibly even Matt?) … Yes, you should. Now… **GET THAT BOI!** *OMGOMGOMGOMG**OMG**OMGOMGOMG!!*

6.] Paint honey on his roof and/or windowsill. Why? You see when you're an insomniac, you don't sleep, thus, you have no use for a bed. This guy happens to hang out on top of roofs a lot… you get it right?

7.] Decorate his office with raccoon figurines directed toward the front of the door and his desk. That way, he has hundreds of beady little eyes staring at him the moment he steps into the office. Isn't that _welcoming_?

8.] Use beef jerky as arrows and aim. If he gets you, just say you were just trying to feed his sand (or Mom as some rumors said).

9.] Tell him jokes about porcupine jokes. In **German**.

10.] Give him fake eyebrows for his birthday.

11.] Spam him with post-its to remind him he has to feed his pet cactus.

12.] Add on to his "eyeliner" by adding "eyelashes".

13.] Sing the Cuppy Cake song to him in the highest pitch.

14.] When he has a hang-over.

15.] Glue a **Burger King crown** to his head so he could "make" his point of being officially kazekage.

16.] Don't forget the kid's meal either.

17.] Tape a "Don't Feed" sign to his gourd.

18.] Decorate his office with bananas.

19.] Replace his clothes with T-shirts that say: " I'll be the next **Martha Stewart**!"

20.] Spike up his hair with glue to add "flair". (it rhymes xD)

21.] send him Christmas cards even though it's not Christmas.

22.] Get him on a program where he has to give ten raccoons an anti-tick bath every month.

23.] Replace his Kazekage Info File Picture with the bunny with the pancake on his head.

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err.. you guys should know why I'm gone.

- Schoolwork (check)

- Forgot password (just recovered it today *check*)

- Writer's Block (check)

- Now obsessing over Kingdom Hearts manga and videogame cut scenes (CHECK, DAMIT!)

...

Got the point right?

Now, review for your lives..

now, i've been gone, since what? yes, last **month**. you know, I'm not really asking much but please revieww. just click that cute little button under this and type anything. ANYTHING. Not just suggestions also. I wouldn't even care if you ask me what character I like in said manga I'm **obsessing** over now. I needs to know how I'm doing so far. That's what reviews are for, y'know.

Now, _**REVIEW**_ and suggestions. (please note how I capitalized, italicized, underlined, and bolded review and not suggestions)


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